Ketchup on Chelupas & a Hidden Birthday Cake
Today I kinda feel like that ketchup. I might appear like I belong here, but in reality I am a long way from it.
After going on an extensive cultural-breaking spree today, I decided it was time to blog out my anxiety. I'll spare you my emotions and a long backstory and get down to the good stuff. I am basically conspiring with my nanny and the security guards to hide a small secret from my husband. It sounds more exciting than it really is....
.......Wait......
Uhhh....I guess maybe you do need some background as that was a lot of info. As a writing teacher, you would think I would be better at audience recognition!
Background
I'm Betsy. Originally from rural South Dakota, I moved to Nicaragua two months ago from the states. My husband is Nicaraguan, or as they like to say here, "Nica" and I'm pretty dang gringa...although I speak Nica Spanish pretty well.
Biggest change for me in Managua: Having Maids, Drivers, Nannies and basically all the people who earn peanuts to make my life even easier than it already was.
I have a full time maid (who cooks...bad food...but cooks), a live-in nanny, and a Saturday Gardner. I would like to point out that this is STANDARD for the upper class in Nicaragua. In fact, my father-in-law has two maids, a gardener, a security guard, and a chauffeur for just him and his wife. Again, I'd like to point out that no one thinks this is odd behavior....We have 25 first cousins here and I would be willing to bet money that all of them have some or all of these types of "service people" in their homes.
Concentrated personal issues: Privacy and Emotional Separation
Let's start with a photo. Here is the nanny holding up Sammy, our baby boy, for a photo.
She's 23, has no parents, no money, and care barely spell basic words in Spanish. For instance, she spelled "bien" today as "vien"... I know everything about her because we talk...like a lot. This in and of itself is a cultural oddity. A few female family members told me early one that they don't get involved with nannies and maids on a personal level because it complicates things. They are right and it makes sense, but it breaks all my American comfort zones to have non-personal relationships with people living in my home. This is especially true for people taking care of my child.
Can I just say that neither the nanny nor the maid are good at their jobs. The maid is exceptionally lazy and has a hard time cleaning my three bedroom home in her extensive work schedule. She works standard maid hours, 7:30-5:00 Monday through Friday, Saturday 7:30-3:00 and every other Sunday she gets off....something like that. So...in other words...A LOT.
The nanny also follows a typical Nicaraguan in-house service person schedule and life. She sleeps in the service quarters. Oh...this will freak you out if you are a gringo not used to Nicaragua... they have their own "quarters" called cuartos de servicios. This means that they have a little part of the house which is designed just for them. They absolutely do not use the bathrooms of the owners house nor do they eat or sleep on any of the good furniture in the house. In fact, they feel uncomfortable even sitting on some of the outside furniture in the homes. The nanny carries around a plastic chair to sit in downstairs when she watches the baby. I bought them their own silverware, plastic plates and cups to eat and drink on...as it's taboo to eat with our kitchen items. For the moment, I won't even touch on the subject of how we decide who eats what and when and stealing food, and blah blah...
Back to the nanny schedule. She lives in the service quarters. What is interesting, is that people don't say that that they "live with you" in Spanish. They say, "dormir adentro" means that "sleep inside". She "sleeps inside" for 12 days in a row and then "goes out" as they say in Spanish on a Friday afternoon and returns either by Sunday night or Monday morning. Because nearly all of them live far from Managua, that means that they do not see their family very much at all.
Perhaps I will never forget when the nanny of my nephew recommended to me that I also get a nanny from "el campo" the countryside because, in her words, "son mas obediente" they are more obedient than those from the city.
Can I just say that neither the nanny nor the maid are good at their jobs. The maid is exceptionally lazy and has a hard time cleaning my three bedroom home in her extensive work schedule. She works standard maid hours, 7:30-5:00 Monday through Friday, Saturday 7:30-3:00 and every other Sunday she gets off....something like that. So...in other words...A LOT.
The nanny also follows a typical Nicaraguan in-house service person schedule and life. She sleeps in the service quarters. Oh...this will freak you out if you are a gringo not used to Nicaragua... they have their own "quarters" called cuartos de servicios. This means that they have a little part of the house which is designed just for them. They absolutely do not use the bathrooms of the owners house nor do they eat or sleep on any of the good furniture in the house. In fact, they feel uncomfortable even sitting on some of the outside furniture in the homes. The nanny carries around a plastic chair to sit in downstairs when she watches the baby. I bought them their own silverware, plastic plates and cups to eat and drink on...as it's taboo to eat with our kitchen items. For the moment, I won't even touch on the subject of how we decide who eats what and when and stealing food, and blah blah...
Back to the nanny schedule. She lives in the service quarters. What is interesting, is that people don't say that that they "live with you" in Spanish. They say, "dormir adentro" means that "sleep inside". She "sleeps inside" for 12 days in a row and then "goes out" as they say in Spanish on a Friday afternoon and returns either by Sunday night or Monday morning. Because nearly all of them live far from Managua, that means that they do not see their family very much at all.
Perhaps I will never forget when the nanny of my nephew recommended to me that I also get a nanny from "el campo" the countryside because, in her words, "son mas obediente" they are more obedient than those from the city.
Didn't I say something about a conspiracy??
Oh yes...so today I bought little gifts for my nanny's kids. She has twin boys that are turning six this weekend. They are really poor...I'll discuss this in another blog....so I just wanted to get them a little something. Also, I like to bake and so I made a cake for her to take. Not only do poor people not have ovens in Nicaragua to bake cakes, her house is so far in the countryside that you can't get their by car. In fact, she gets off a bus in the city of Granada and take a moto for a half an hour and then she must walk on foot for another 30 minutes to reach her house. For that reason, I cut the cake up into smaller pieces to be placed into a bag I am lending her. So here comes the conspiracy....Xavier, my husband, would NOT be happy about the gifts...he could tolerate the cake, but not the gifts. She "checks out" with him before she leaves so I have to find a way to hide these big items so he doesn't see them. The nanny and I decide to leave them with at the security guard house next to our house. Of course, she can't do this or they would think she might be stealing. I have to to take the gifts and make up a story and then tell them to let her pick up these gifts later. The fact that she thought of this really makes me wonder if that is how maids smuggle items out of homes here...that will be saved for another blog post as I would not put this past her or the other one for a second.
Anyhow, you must think my husband is a monster. He is absolutely not. I have him wrapped around my finger...and he only wants me to be happy. That said, he thinks my breaking of the cultural rules to form relationships with the help will only end up disappointing me....and he is probably right. For as much as we talk, the nanny still openly lies... and rather than feeling happy that I bring them things like nail polish, they take advantage of my timid nature and barely work. This, compounded with the fact that he believes in following the cultural norms related class differences, make the gifts and cake buying way over the top. I don't know what Americans would think of it actually....
Okay... It is REALLY hot, getting late, and this first blog post is OUT OF CONTROL long.....till next time.
-Betsy
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| picture of the cake cut up and placed in my tupperware for her journey home. This is also a bad photo of the service quarter's room |
Anyhow, you must think my husband is a monster. He is absolutely not. I have him wrapped around my finger...and he only wants me to be happy. That said, he thinks my breaking of the cultural rules to form relationships with the help will only end up disappointing me....and he is probably right. For as much as we talk, the nanny still openly lies... and rather than feeling happy that I bring them things like nail polish, they take advantage of my timid nature and barely work. This, compounded with the fact that he believes in following the cultural norms related class differences, make the gifts and cake buying way over the top. I don't know what Americans would think of it actually....
Okay... It is REALLY hot, getting late, and this first blog post is OUT OF CONTROL long.....till next time.
-Betsy
Love it. Live in nanny would be hard for me too. Especially with the 3rd grade educational level you told me about. And yes, she probably will disappoint you, but at least you can sleep at night. By the way, you are the boss. You can be kind and still get the to work hard.
ReplyDeleteit's higher than 3rd grade...not sure how high or good....but 3rd grade would be really really low.
Deleteit's higher than 3rd grade...not sure how high or good....but 3rd grade would be really really low.
Delete